Old McSmoochy Had a Farm E I E I O

And on this farm he had some vowels

A E I O U and sometimes y.

And on this farm he had some punk you ate shun.


These letters, E, I, O, A, U, and sometimes Y are known as vowels.  I know they are vowels.  I also know there are consonants.  Yep, I know those too. 

But, and that is a real BIG but, I have no idea where ; : , go or what to do with them. ~shakes head emphatically~  nope, nada, no way.  So punk you ate shun is not a strong suit of mine, and putting those irritating little marks in a sentence isn't either.

I am wonderful at diction and alliteration.  I use three bone words when a half a bone word would do.  I can send you running to dictionary.com in a split second.  But, don't tell me I have a dangling participle.  ~looks behind me quickly~  No, nothing dangling here.  Heck, I don't even know what a participle is.

When I was a young pup, no bigger than Mom's hand, I went to school.  The first day of pupducation, my English teacher (a huge English Bulldoggy by the way), made us take out a book with "GRAMMAR" written on it.  I, personally, thought that was an odd way to spell Gramma, but what did I know?  Nothing, nor was I gonna learn anything either.

The teacher had us open the book, then close it.  ~shakes head in disbelief~

Everytime I stare down a semi-colon his words ring in my labby dabby ears. . . "We have fulfilled the curriculum requirements.  You opened the book.  Everything you need to know you will learn in literature." 

We then opened the literature book to Rudyard Kipling.  I have been reading voraciously ever since.  I didn't learn a thing about Grammar or punk you ate shun.  I did learn a lot about India, Huffalumps, Narnia, Oz, Toto, and Lassie. 

There is an invention called Grammatik.  It is of no use to me.  It just takes what I perceived to be a perfectly good sentence and makes mush of it by trying to put :'s, ,'s and the like into it.  Then it tells me "this is an incomplete sentence".  Well, it wasn't before Grammatik put his stinking paws on it.  Hmpfff

Sheesh.  So I am forewarning you.  My Grammar ain't that good, but if you stick around I will give you lots of content. 

Watch out for that dangling participle. . . ~checks behind me once again~